HAPPY FAILING

Absolutely, who can write about Failures other than me, I have cried over it, felt rejected, angred myself and everyone around me, hated that I did because I can easily pick up so many failures in my life

So I didn’t understand what was happening to me, my body and my condition for longest period of my life. I thought life failed me in not letting me be Who I Wanted To Be, every failure let me move on to another until I found my Own Ways Of Expression.

For instance it took me 3 year to find my current job, every failed interview and rejection put me in doing the right things like I had to bold and confident at different levels, I knew how I could have done better at some to how I screwed up few interview. Rejection and failing put me straight in handling many situations smartly.

When I decided to pick on a fulltime job to stay away from my folks and comfort of home for 14hrs a day, I knew it was a Risk and my parents feared Failure. But today to have taken such risk and finding ways to be successful made me a professional, liberated, financially strong and exploring the world of dreams.

Many times speaking up your wants without the fear of failure like; Be it a promotion conversation with your boss or sharing your views in your team meeting pays off. I have always taken that gut to voice out and taking those challenges that led to success.

I love to have an ideal partner …a companion in my life and everything I do in this has nothing  but been a failure, be in fear of what my family would think to looking for someone through online dating or failed past experience feared me not getting in any relationship at all, but on contrary today I choose to run around this maze to be on unknown paths, failing to complete understand where I heading to finally hit my tunnel of light someday 🙂

THE MORE I FAIL, I UNDERSTAND THE WAYS OF NOT FAILING AND BEING MY BEST.

So, go on do things that you love and not fear the failure.

HAPPY FAILING 🙂

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Mum bai startled me!!!

Pigeons in Mumbai

Yellow taxies, autos, cars, scooters bicycles flood the streets of Mumbai, it is rush hour everyday for 20% Mumbaikar to reach their destinations via road and rest rely on local trains. While the roads passes between constrained apartments, small houses and huts basically slums built of brick and shanties. This time I was one among them on the road of India’s entertainment capital and to my strangeness I didn’t get sight of any massive cut-outs of Shahrukh Khan or Sachin Tendlukar the entire stretch of NH8 Borivali (E) to Nariman Point, but lots of Ek Duje Ke Liye couples in scorching heat around Beaches 😉

Mumbai was inviting nonetheless as I was going to meet an old time friend of mine, Santosh & me have been online friends for over a 10 years now. Yup we haven’t met eachother face to face but have built our friendship on basis of internet & ph calls. Meeting him was my priority of this visit along with my other business agenda.

Santosh has same condition as mine (SMA Type II) and highly ambitious person., he is an independent stock market consultant and makes his living managing his clients finances & investments. Meeting him was a different experience as I really came in reflection on how I used to stay home alone 8yrs back and do my daily businesses, today Santosh stays home 8hrs all by himself while his folks, sister go off to their work routines. He changed me on “perseverance and hardworking matters to lead fruitful life”.  He is also a founding member of Wills on Wheels (WOW) non-profit organization that  enables people on wheels in Mumbai. What’s amazing is the mission to enable people on wheelchair are by people who live life in wheelchairs 🙂

And we both are buddies for long time now apart from our differences of likes, views as we both have a take on everything around us 😉 Right Santa?

My trip to go around Powai and to visit Gateway of India was organized by Prasad Phanasgaonkar who runs Samarthatravels an wheelchair accessible taxi service in Mumbai, made our lives easy J Great driver’s who were trained to handle and assist wheelchair clients. http://www.samarthatravels.com/ Awesome service @Prasad, thank you so much.

While we the gang partied late nights,  poor folks of mine had to put up with me, Mumbai traffic and the burning heat so I treated them for Lunch Buffet at THE TAJ 😉  they enjoyed the experience of history and pride of Taj. oh yeah it did burn my pocket a little for the extravaganza 😉

Taj Mahal Mumbai

Taj Mahal Mumbai

Front of Gateway of India

Front of Gateway of India

Santosh, Sneha & Me

Santosh, Sneha & Me

Lunch with folks at The Taj, Mumbai

Lunch with folks at The Taj, Mumbai

Accessible Vehicle by Samartha Travels, Mumbai

Accessible Vehicle by Samartha Travels, Mumbai

Limelight on some grey areas never discussed before _ Women, Disability & Sexuality

Lying down in my bed after long day watching how Lakshmi steers the show with some extraordinary people have always inspired me. I’ve been a big follower of ‘The Chai with Lakshmi’ show ever since, Lakshmi is a very strong character, with amazing attitude toward life.

When I met Lakshmi on a casual meet at my place last year, we shared a lot and both knew we had some connect.

  • August 13, 2014 I fb messaged: Lakshmi it was amazing to meet you …I feel so good today. Hmm there is lot I told u and lots I missed out .. anyway I often have thought when I see movies like Black, or TaareZameenPar is to seek your partnership to create a movie based on love .relationship .sex and women on wheels. Indians movies have not done any theme on this.. Neither has our society been open for such encounters. But a movie can leave a mark at this space. What you think? A simple story line with an intense character play? I just want to know if this makes sense to you? If it does we can align everything to make it happen

Today, it is all conceived together as I am so thrilled and wowed being part of ‘The Lakshmi Rebecca Show‘. Lakshmi connected all the dots together when I received a call to be in a show featuring Kalki Koechlin who played lead role in the movie “Margarita with a straw” to have a conversation on “Women, Disability & Sexuality”.

Over a decade these topics were sidelined, ignored … we realize the taboo that silenced, being stereotypes and disabled people’s sexuality has been suppressed and destroyed, over many centuries.

But, today in a modern era its about shifting attitudes, instilling awareness and enhancing lives. While these topic make ways in thinking outside the box, to vision change and acceptance, by large inclusion in society.

While the western world has swirled these subjects for many years now, how do we close the gap?
I have been receiving great feedback from many, I think it’s the right moment we redefine the peculiarity about Women, Disability & Sexuality 🙂

Watch the show & leave your comments/suggestion, while I get some The Weeknd music on – Ariana Grande Love Me Harder

Would You Date a Woman with a Disability?

Would You Date a Woman with a Disability?

 

 

 

 

 

Looking back at the girl & women in me is been beautiful.

As a girl my mom thought me how to take care of the emotional yet courage’s self in me, to enjoy every the stages of life and embrace every moment. She always asked me to raise one level up to face this world and to never give up. My dad taught me how to protect myself in any given situation; he holds my hands to show me I could do anything possible if I had my heart to it and walks past me to never let me fall.

My parents indeed thought my brother how to take care of his two sisters., he was a very intuitive child who understood his one sister required more care and support as he has been the best brother to whom I can lean-in for any supports and guidance throughout my life. My sister & I share a best relationship, being the oldest I take charge to advice & be bossy sometime but mostly we love hanging around eachother.

It is the family that enriches and empowers the girl, My grandma wished I experienced everything in my life, she thought me to be brave and to voice out my likes and dislikes on the other hands grandpa protected me like a flower that shouldn’t be hurt by anyone or by anything, he loved me by all this heart and I said I was whole and complete in all aspects of my life.

Lots of people have been part of uplifting different stages of my life, without whom I wouldn’t call myself complete, like those days extended families like uncles and aunts played a big role in a joint family. My education by far happened only because of my Raju uncle , he lifted me to school every day to my class in the fourth floor and so that is how I’ve been learned, All my scribes (students) who supported to scribe during my exams. Shanti Ma’am who changed the entire direction of calling in my life, My ex-boss Sundar & Sarv who believed I was a good resource to the company and many many more who stood close to realize my dreams. My gratitude overflows to them whenever I think of the times everyone is been empathetic to me and my situation.

I’ve personally grown stronger deep within be it playing a role of daughter, sister-in-law or an aunt, drawn strength every situation as friend, mentor, colleague, sister, or a friend …,,  disarmed barriers through hope and smiles.

As always remember life springs back at you for new relations, new people and new circumstances and more…As I find myself to be blessed, cared and wonderful …I wish everyone who’s making the difference in other lives and making life so special…. Happy Women’s Day! 🙂

Discovering Intuits

Today was one of days where I step away from regular routine sitting in desk working,  to a place of intuitiveness.

Yes, today I was at INTUIT, Eco Space Bangalore Office. I was invited to be one of the speakers for their Intuit Ignite event called “Special Needs and Abilities Network”. It was great opportunity for me to share my experiences and learnings in the space of inclusion. I was overwhelmed with their convivial and the warm atmosphere.

While, Vijay Anand, VP & Head, Intuit India reinforced the diversity priorities and Saurabh Saxena, Director & Sponsor SNAN Network welcomed everyone , the teams at Intuit has a bigger vision in creating an equal opportunity for everyone and empower their employees in all aspects, and create accessible technology. I could sense a great amount of dedication and commitment with the inclusion team to drive these initiatives and to learn at every step.

A big shout out to Sriniwasan, Deepa Soundarajan, Anil Pakina, Bhibakar, Zubin and Naina who hosted me for private lunch session as we discussed various stages of inclusion and maturity that happens within an organization, as we knew there is so much we could do in enabling our people and be conducive to this environment.

As they say “Diverse Markets are Best Served by a Diverse Workforce”. Way to go INTUIT

Godly Affairs and Self-realization

Today I will be awake to chant & recite the sound of ‘Om Namaha Shivaya” on the Night of Shiva. The sound vibrates a ‘Thandavam’ within me, and energizes my connect with this power of creation. It is said someone who wants to lead a spiritual life that gets you beyond oneself to No-thing is  highly come close to realism this day…

A night ideal to perceive the overwhelming presence of Shi-Va, that which is not, and to know the power of No-Thing. Sadhguru

Yes, I’m a biggest follower of Isha Yoga and Sadhguru for many years now, the teachings, listening; practicing elevated me from human sufferings to attain the level of oneness and peace with everything.

THE ALCHEMY FOR ME IS FINDING THE INNER SHIVA ‘THE NO-THING’ WHILE BEING BUDDHA ‘TO BE AWAKE’ IS BEEN MY WAYs… TO BE UNBOUNDED & TO ATTAIN ONENESS WITHIN.

This path has lead me free from attachments, like I’m easily attached to this body by the beholder of my sufferings conceptualized, my recent visit to Tamilnadu temples with my family was such an experience. By far I noticed our temples still miss their sanctity, highly commercialized, manipulated and lack unity. So I consider temples as a just place for rituals and offerings, while everyone’s motives are uniquely different. I get tag along with my folks on this kinda of temples visits but for me I consider the time for gratification I feel/emote/do is much pure to its form as I surrender to peace everything around me.

I have gone through a difficult journey when it comes to godly affairs over my childhood, people across religions have tagged me to bad karma of doing in past to varied offering to easy the current karma, or should I say equations getting good karma. I have regretted myself to the unknown bad karma I had done to which my family had penalized …sleepless nights as teenage girl was hurting. I have outgrown this moments.

While I still do not deeply understand to theories behind occurrence of karma, unclear where, how facts of rebirth exists or neither have I contemplated will this myths.

I have truly believed in present moment of staying awake and aware of ones surrounding in consciousness, and dive to inner strength and power of elevating the sub-consciousness. While I embody this spritual path, the thrive to seek more knowledge and divinity itself keeps me enlightened.

“This journey to attain Nirvana is existential and we all sound to this self-realization.”

Unique Bonding

Today I just want to talk about two people who were destined to meet after a long time and is just so wonderful that it happened, indeed it is about me and Pradeep Sinha unique ways to bond.

I met Pradeep few years back in Enable India at Shanti office in Koramangala, Shanti was signing to Pradeep about me and introduced me to him through sign language. Pradeep has visual and hearing impairment, so basically Pradeep cannot see, hear or speak. He quickly smiled nodding his head as he tried to locate me for shaking my hand, it was a very brief meet with Pradeep that day.

But definitely knowing Pradeep it has a long lasting impact on anyone. He hails from Kolkata, diagnosed with hearing loss due to Rubella Syndrome and lost vision at age of 10. He takes pride in himself on being the first in his family to travel by train to Bengaluru, that too alone. He has done Diploma in Computer and quite proficient in using technology. Worked as Deafblind trainer-Assistant and has received the CavinKare Ability Award in Madras in the year March 2003.

We both meet after six years of time, and I was so happy to see Pradeep once again and this time our encounters will go a very long way

I had my own doubts as to how I will communicate with Pradeep as I cannot move my arms to hold him to do the sign and neither did Pradeep understand what was happening around him as every time someone signs him that Deepa is around he used to try reaching out to hold my hands and to his perplexity he would never get my hands holding back.

Marine was interpreting to Pradeep during the training sessions, and she was the key person now who could to communicate back on why  I seem distanced with Pradeep, so I told Marine “tell Pradeep I wish to communicate to him but since I can’t move my hands, it’s getting on our way to talk to each other” while she translates this back I get immediate reply from Pradeep signing “say her not to worry and I will Watsapp her”. That was bang on how technology has helped people go beyond to reach any heights to break barriers in enabling anyone.

Yes,  we communicate through SMS or Watsapp and I feel really close to a friend to be able to communicate my thoughts directly to him. Pradeep was also found a unique technique to hold my left hand for a good shake hands  🙂

Pradeep is interning with EMC on a one-year internship program. As someone who initiated and drives this program at EMC it gives me a lot of happiness and pride to have such amazing strong willed, determined people part of the internship program. I truly believe in inclusion and truly believe in not letting anyone behind.

Pradeep uses a refreshable braille display device for working on computer and his mobile phone that enables him to read and access information. He is currently being trained as Delivery Specialist in Professional Services organization at EMC. His current project team members are perfectly inclusive people and am happy that he is going to be associated with them for a extended period of time.

Pradeep wishes to complete this the training, as wants to settle down with a regular job and work towards realizing his life goal.

While I feel so confident that this bonding has made me more stronger person from within for being able to express myself for whoever I’m 🙂

Traning at EMC

Traning session at EMC

 

Refreshable braille display

Pradeep with his expensive Refreshable Braille Display …

 

 

The theory of Everything in my life!

Today I was watching the brilliant movie ‘The Theory of Everything’ its about Stephen Hawkins a physicist in this real-time world, the movie was about the cosmology student who falls in love with Jane during their college days in Cambridge. The movie showcases about Hawkins true love to mathematics and his inventions, with persistent and pursuit of his greatest knowledge.

The movie got me on pulse about how he had to endure with a nerve breaking diagnosis, a motor neuron disease which progressed to paralyze him over years.

ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) and SMA (spinal muscular atrophy) is no bloody different, both has the same effects of muscle deteriorating and muscle wasting gradually.

I was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy or I should rather say an unknown neuron disease when I was eight months old baby, the doctors indeed warned my parents about my normality when it comes to growing up and experiencing the normal life, as the muscles start to weaken, and eventually tends lose the ability to move arms, legs, and other parts of the body.

I have seen my muscles go wasting all this while of my life, as few decade back I could write, I could do my hair, eat on my own, scratch my back or rub my nose. As in the movies one of the scenes shows how Hawkins sees everyone’s  hands moving in the dining table to grab their food and how he struggles with his own to take a bite. There has been so many days I have just sat looking at people’s hands move and looking at people’s feet walk, where I imagine to recall my moments and my gestures. Today it’s hard to imagine that I was once upon a time capable of doing so many things, my brain remembers every activity and every moment I could do, but not enough to pass the signal across for real.

But what if you link the fatal condition and the working brain put together, as your brain or your mind that governs your body reciprocates I think it does wonders. As the movie showcases a renowned scientist who founded Black holes or History of Time and the father of three children who married twice goes beyond any imagination.

Today I live my life of dreams and there’s nothing less when it is compared to anyone in living life to its absolute. Yes maybe my muscles are weakening but there’s nothing to weaken my thoughts or my imaginations. 🙂

I just love the movie., And if you haven’t watched it please go do it right now! Link

Ahh the most significant encounters in Hawkins life was the fact that he was in love., Which I think I’m missing in this big black hole or in the history of time hahaha kidding, oh but according to mathematical equations I’m still single 🙂

When a core basic issue is not addressed, let’s begin there!

The Indian IT and ITES companies got together this year at the NASSCOM Diversity and Inclusion Summit 2015, to showcase the best form of delivering human resource potential. The focus was Empowering Organization, Individuals and Customers.

This year many industries came together to talk about creating a dynamic diverse workplace and to demonstrate the good work done by each individual company to set their inclusive agenda.

NASSCOM has played a key role in the mind shift and organization shift in this context from 2006 onwards, be it influencing the industry to take D&I as their mainstream agenda and encourage corporate leaders to talk about inclusive strategies and programs that has proven effective in a diverse workplace: where each individual is respected for their views and contributions to the company. Importantly over the few years it has also set standards for actively pursuing inclusion of persons with disabilities in the mainstream jobs as well as encouraging the overall inclusive work culture.

But what happens when everyone misses out the core basic needs in addressing inclusion for persons with disability?

This year the Nasscom D&I summit, took place at Lalit Ashok a premium luxury five-star hotel in Bangalore; offcourse every Bangalorean do know Lalit Ashok!

Few months back i was there, as a speaker at Grace Hopper’s conference and I did give a written complaint to the hotel staff about inaccessible restrooms in the hotels. Nothing has been done to address this issue till date, the current restrooms in the hotel has a narrow zigzag entrance to which a wheelchair cannot accommodate and  only has two small compartments inside again which doesn’t fit a wheelchair. I was told by one of the staff that the accessible restroom was renovated into a showroom last year (duh really!!!)

This time once again me and Nimisha Jashnani from Capgemini who handles the diversity and inclusion for her company got very ferocious about the whole situation went to check with the officials who could address this issue. Very saddened to as we couldn’t get in touch with anyone senior who could really look into this and one of the staff took us to the background of the hotel where there was trying to build and wheelchair accessible restroom, this got me even more angry because the way to go to the restroom was away from the main hotel first thing and secondly we had to go on a lawn/ cobblestones/500meter away to reach that area. What nonsense!!!#####

So how come NASSCOM or how could a five-star hotel not address this basic issue for wheelchair accessible toilet? How come Nasscom committee miss accessibilty and sign language interpreter during sessions of a inclusive forum?

This is something that needs intervention to set right accessibiliy standards across any such forum conducted by Industry Bodies.

It is time as Modi says, we look into the basic needs of a common man’than talking about big agendas.

Being tattooed,…

People may think you are fragile or you’re too complicated or even out of this world 🙂 but something within you is the true self of what you are and what you want to be seen.

And then, when you don’t fall into this larger category of people, you have to create your own unique ways to be who you are.

So when you don’t get access to big schools like IIM, IIT or Harvard as you were dropped out of schooling because of the complicated situations and inaccessible environment… You educate yourself through your daily life and probably catch up with some books.

Likewise when everyone looks up to pretty looking girl in stilettos, whose dynamic and articulate …who comes across every guy… And if you’re a girl in a wheelchair than you could sometimes be considered as out of the league.

With me, I never used a wheelchair until recently (7yrs back) when I found my job in the corporate world, so I had to create my own unique style being in a wheelchair.  Being comfortable and being communicative is something I really believe…

I zoom across corridors with my powered wheelchair to catch up with my meetings or to catch up with my lunchtime lol, I do make a lot of head turn to see the unique joystick controlled girl in corridors, I catch up all the current trends of fashion be it wearing skirts, tank tops or being traditional with salwar kameez.

But one thing that I found solace is being tattooed, yes I have three tattoos done so far and everything has its own meaning to my life. It communicates myself to this pain I take in daily life and it reminds of all that I’m, …again nothing out of this world as people get tattooed every seconds.

  • Buddha…reminds me still in the process to attain enlightenment striking a balance of mindfulness, awareness and wisdom at same time remaining in peace with this life of sufferings.
  • Dandelion reminds me of all my dreams that come true and that life is too short a period of gesture.
  • A Heart filled with red color, is true of its nature. Someone to love me by heart and accept me of my true nature.

 

tatoome